Talk Therapy: Approaching therapy when you’re not sure where to start

“The more you do, the more you can do.
― Lucille Ball

Therapy strengthens the muscle that develops your ability to solve problems, manage stress, and cope with difficult situations that could impact you. Sometimes, the most significant tools you will need are those you don’t know are even missing from your toolbox. Therapy can help you navigate your feelings, from those knowingly troubling you to those buried deep within the surface you don’t even know exist.

black women in therapy

There’s the fear that therapy won’t resolve the issues that trouble one’s experience through life or that the journey to resolution may be painful, impassioned, and filled with disillusionment. The path through dismantling cyclical patterns is not always easy, but coming out on the other side of your experience with a greater understanding of self is absolutely worth it. You are worth it.

There is freedom in addressing and overcoming trauma. While no one can go back and change a specific experience of the past, the tools given to cope successfully with past traumatic events can bring forth freedom in how you move forward as you navigate through life. Therapy can provide the tools that change the trajectory of your future.

“You must believe, ‘I am worthy of my own time, energy, and attention. Until you believe that, you will not be able to do enough in the world to make yourself feel worthy. When you know that, then you know that what you have to give to others is valuable.
― Iyanla Vanzant

Do your research.

Seek a therapist specializing in resolving your desired outcome, or ask someone you trust. There are many types of therapists; Marriage and Family Therapists, Cognitive Behavioral Therapists, and Behavioral Therapists are just a few that you may consider researching when deciding on the kind of therapy to attend. By focusing on your desired outcome, you can narrow down a professional who suits your needs.

Choose a therapist who is similar to you. 

Chances are you are likely to be more vulnerable with someone you perceive to be easier to confide in. There is a strong chance that this specialist will make you feel secure and provide a safe space to open yourself up to them in a way that you otherwise would not have had you and this person not share a similar background.


Start with a question.

Sometimes, expectations can create barriers to our intended goals. When we lead with the belief that an outcome will go a certain way, we don’t leave room for the unexpected. Start simple, start with a question, and allow the specialist to do what they do best. Your initial conversation will likely be an opportunity to get to know you and your goals for therapy.

Keep going.

Commit to the change that is happening for you and within you. The more you do a thing, the easier it becomes. The more you challenge yourself, the more comfortable you become, and what once felt so difficult to begin, to find time for, or to release, becomes more manageable. You become stronger.

Leave a comment